In Loving Memory of Danielle

About a week and a half ago, our dear and beloved friend Danielle lost her two-and-a-half-year battle with colon cancer. We actually had just visited her and her family in Chicago at the end of last month and, though she was not doing well, Tony and I were still shocked and devastated to hear of her passing. Danielle--who we loved like a sister and with whom we had just spent 3 days together--was gone. The news has been extremely difficult to process.

Danielle touched everyone she met--near and far--so there has been an outpouring of heartfelt tributes on her Facebook page. Beth was kind enough to post mine for me, as well as two photo collages (both below):

When my husband Tony joined a new lab at Duke in January 2007, his new coworker Danielle immediately reached out to be my friend and welcome me to Durham (I should have known then how awesome Danielle was!). Everyone who knew her knows I'm right when I say that you couldn't ask for a better friend than Danielle. She was thoughtful, caring and consistent. She was funny, multi-talented and super smart. She raised the bar on friendship, motherhood and making the most of each day. Who else does superhuman things like baking pies while in labor and then delivering both of her kids with no drugs, making mozzarella cheese from scratch, and nursing her daughter in the crater of a Hawaiian volcano? She made everything look easy! We had our first children about two months apart; braving motherhood for the first time was less daunting and way more fun with Danielle by my side. When I was expecting our second child, Danielle organized the loveliest dinner for me and eight of my girlfriends at my favorite Durham restaurant. She even made the effort to attend my Bat Mitzvah, which I completed as an adult. I remember her telling me after her interview at Northwestern that she felt it had gone well because someone came up to her afterward and said they liked how she had responded to the question, "What do you do in your spare time?" Danielle had simply told them, "I just really love being a mom." When it came to fighting cancer, Danielle was fearless and daring...never expressing trepidation, always moving forward. She was beautiful and strong--inside and out. Danielle, Chris and the kids visited us twice in Cincinnati, and we had the exceptionally good fortune to spend time with the four of them in the Windy City over the Halloween/World Series weekend recently. Even when she was feeling lousy, Danielle was the best host anyone could ask for. Our ten years of friendship went by entirely too quickly, but my memories with Danielle are cemented in my brain in vivid 3D technicolor. She made every experience better and more special. We loved her like family and will miss her terribly.

Can you tell that Danielle truly loved every second of motherhood? Can you tell that she was a brilliant mind in the scientific community? Can you tell that Danielle's presence in our life (and many, many others) was a happy, shining light that made the world better?

Here are a few more fun photos from Tony's Duke lab's travels to science conferences in Hawaii...always an adventure!

Last Friday, the members of Tony's old lab and many other Duke colleagues and members of the science community traveled to Chicago to remember and celebrate Danielle. It was bittersweet to see so many of our good friends from North Carolina while feeling the strong void from Danielle's absence.

The reception was lovely...and included dozens and dozens of photos of Danielle making the most of life (she never dwelled on being sick) that were hung on each of the windows.

I spotted this photo of me with Danielle and her closest friend in Chicago Lauren not three weeks prior. 

And this one, too...of Danielle goofing off in her son's Halloween costume that same day. Needless to say, we just never would have guessed that Danielle's vibrancy and ability to live in the moment would end not long after this photo was taken.

My mom read a quote in a book the other day that sums up well what I've been thinking since I received the heartbreaking news about Danielle. "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." I can't believe she's gone and attending her memorial service was VERY surreal. But hundreds of times a day, I'm reminded of the good and beauty in this world and, thus, the enormity of her loss. You're in our hearts forever, Danielle...and we're thankful every day for friends like you.

P.S. Our good friend Steve penned this beautiful piece about cancer and Danielle. It's something everybody should read!!

P.S. Visit here to donate money for Abby and Leo's education. What better way to honor Danielle's memory and support her gorgeous family!