Democrazy

I really thought this would be a happy post. I was excited to blog about election night and the results. And I admit that I did think that the presidential race might be a tight one, but I hardly let my mind wander to the point where this post turned to one of disappointment, sadness and disgust. Yet here we are.

For months and months, I have been obsessed with the news. And the polls. And what my friends, neighbors and fellow Cincinnatians were thinking about the election. I wanted to hear everyone's opinions and thoughts on the election. Like a junkie, I simply could not get enough.

And let's not forget that I was a government major in college and I loved it. The phrase, "Politics is a good thing" (to quote one of my favorite UVa government professors) has stuck with me throughout my adult life. America's democracy is good, right??

I got on the Hillary bandwagon because MY vision for America is one of inclusion and liberty. I want immigrants to come to our country to make it more diverse and interesting. I want all people to be able to marry whomever they please. I want women to have complete control over their bodies because, heaven knows, men have it over theirs. And I got on the Hillary bandwagon because I was certain that my vision was hers, too. Now I feel like I naively assumed that a significant majority of Americans felt the same way.

When we watched the Democratic National Convention with Tony's parents, his dad remarked, "I really think it's Hillary's fate to become president." I certainly wanted to believe that. Here was a brilliant, experienced woman who was more than ready to lead our nation.

On election day, my 65-year-old neighbor proudly voted for Hillary, called Trump "reprehensible," and then declared 2016 "The Year of the Woman." I wish she were right, but now it's looking like the year of the bully and the perv.

You know that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail when this happens?

King Arthur: "I am your king." 

Woman: "Well, I didn't vote for you." 

King Arthur: "You don't vote for kings." 

Well, apparently, we do in the U.S. That's how optimistic I am about a Trump presidency. And I'm being nice.

So...after watching all of the debates...and even competing in Debate Bingo (I lost)...

And going with my neighbors to Hillary's campaign office to call and encourage our fellow Cincinnatians to vote for her...

And putting out our very first political yard sign...

And canvassing locally...

And voting because I wouldn't miss it for anything...

Here we are. After all the TV news shows, newspaper articles, discussions with Tony, friends and family, the sleep lost, and the sleep regained after trying to do my part, I thought that voting would be cathartic...and it was. But the sting of loss is very acute and, it's safe to say that I'm heartbroken. Heartbroken for my family, for my country, for my vision of what I think America stands for. Sad that a bully, bigot, racist and male chauvinist is now slated to be our president. Devastated that a brilliant woman with decades of experience fighting for and representing our country won't get the chance to show my children that women can do literally anything they put their minds to. Especially in America, the country that others often look to as an example. After all that, I'm left with wondering about the efficacy of our democracy (not to mention the judgment of so many American voters). I guess it worked. I guess the people voted and Trump won fair and square. He won, but I (along with my fellow Hillary supporters) feel loss. Pretty crazy.

P.S. On a happier note, let's remember past elections! Some good memories here!

P.P.S. I brought Sebastian with me to the polls and he really enjoyed himself. He pointed out the American flags around the room, noted that I was writing with a blue pen and cheered me on with, "Good job, Mom!" while I completed my ballot. See? I knew I selected the right candidates!

P.P.P.S. Here's another example of how you can learn from your kids. The very first thing Brie asked me yesterday morning was who won the election. When I told her (which was VERY difficult for me to do while keeping it together), she said, "Maybe Donald Trump isn't nice now, but he might become nice. And being president is hard and complicated at first, but then it will get better." I love her insight!