The De Falco Family: The Big 4-0!

Today is my 40th birthday! I can hardly believe it myself (which is what I usually say on each of the kid's birthdays). I’m pretty much owning it, in case anyone's wondering. Society might look down on this milestone, but it’s the new 25, right??

Speaking of milestones, what did 30 look like? Like this! We had just kicked off our blog and were expecting Baby D (a.k.a. Sammy). I worked in Student Affairs at Duke Law School, Tony was a post-doc at Duke, and we were enjoying being back in the States after living in Japan after graduate school. We lived in a wonderful neighborhood in a great location with kind neighbors. Our families were within a 4-hour drive and we loved Durham. Life was good!

Fast-forward ten years and life is a little different and a lot nuttier! We now have three smiley, happy kids: 9, 7 and 3!

They are active and busy (these are not synonymous when you’re a parent!) and all so different. We’re pretty worn out at the end of the day! Sometimes more so at the end of a weekend! But once again, we’re in jobs we really enjoy, in a town that fits our family perfectly, with a wonderful neighborhood and an awesome group of friends (many of whom have great kids that our kids love, too). At 40, life is good!

Do we feel older? I mean, yeah, older than this picture (circa Fall 1997)!

But in a lot of ways, not so different. I remember well when my folks turned 40. We were living in Hawaii, and my mom borrowed a full firefighter’s uniform and showed up (in costume) at my dad’s office carrying a cake with enough candles to look like it was on fire. Pretty funny! My folks were healthy and in great shape at 40, and I think Tony and I feel like we’re not doing too badly. A little gray hair here (Tony), a few achy joints there (me), but overall we’re doing alright. We took this pic recently and Beth commented, “You all never age.” Not quite, but I’ll take it!

What else do I know about turning 40? Well, I spent a lot of my 20’s working really hard to be the version of healthy that I thought was ideal in college. But that was nearly impossible when working full-time and trying to start a family. I’m so grateful that we moved back to Japan in 2005…where the pace and diet and sensibilities there really spoke to me (again). I’ve been trying to honor those ever since.

In that regard, my 30’s were much happier and struggle-free than my 20’s. I feel like I mellowed a lot. Parenting gets me amped at times…oh, and politics…but otherwise, I’m much chiller. I think!

I also think the beauty of your 30’s is getting to know yourself better. I’ve been working from home for nearly nine years and I love it. It fits my personality really well, and gives me the flexibility to get a few things done around the house and around town, not to mention be there when the kids go to/return from school. At first, I thought I might miss the social aspect, but many of my friends and neighbors work from home, too, so I rarely feel isolated. I also firmly believe that not having to leave for work in the mornings has drastically reduced my overall stress level. And...I definitely don’t miss dressing up for work!

My 30’s also felt like a sieve…sorting out and bringing to the surface the people who are true friends, what my priorities are in life, and reinforcing my personal strengths. I also learned the value of reconnecting with and strengthening relationships with old friends. As I head into my 40's, it feels good to have those ducks in a row and enjoy the structure and support they provide.

My 30's also confirmed a lot of "really important" suspicions I've had for years. For example, I will always love 80's music. No joke. It takes me right back to elementary school...where I really felt like ME. The fashion, music, energy and vibe from that era were a recipe for my happiness. I also know that I will always love dancing. I really can't hear music and not want to dance. I've stopped trying to keep myself from dancing (like in Kroger and my car). I mean who cares?! And I'm certain I really teeter on the extrovert/introvert tightrope and I'm totally OK with that. I used to feel like I needed to be an extrovert all the time and like it. But I don't. I like my me time and I especially like being a wallflower/listener at large parties. And all of these things are why, in turn, when I see my kids being themselves, I am overjoyed. They SHOULD feel good about their true selves and confident and comfortable in their own skin. I hope Tony and I can do a good job of encouraging them to embrace that feeling of who they truly are. Like on May the 4th! ;-)

Or when we're goofing around on a quiet afternoon...

Last night we all went out for dinner. As usual, it was yummy and nutty, but most of all, a perfect end to my 30's.

And then this morning, I went to yoga class, which I'm really enjoying lately. Go figure! Might be a new leaf for me in my 40's! Afterward, I had a delicious lunch (complete with a little tequila) with two girlfriends. Can you tell that the weather was perfect?!